Named Love
by SpookersInTheWoods
Summary: "This is Life. This is Heaven. This is God. In their ribcage, in his pelvis, and in his skull." (NSFW, Trans Man Nick/Luke, TWs in Chapters)


**A/N:** Don't kill me, I'm on mobile writing this rn...

This is a really quick, self indulgent fic, that'll probably turn into a three parter once I get the energy to write the next two parts for it.

This fic features FTM/Trans man!Nick, as well as primarily NSFW/Sexual Content between Nick and Luke. It also deals heavily with themes of Body Dysphoria and a bit of Religious connotations.

Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy the fic!

* * *

 _ **Named Love :: Ribcages**_

* * *

Luke and Nick are both a little shocked at how pleasant cracked and bleeding lips can feel pressed against another's. The sting of breaking skin clouds their judgement, turning their once calculated touches into feverish pawing. They're intoxicated by each other's beings, and neither man can get enough of it.

Nick's legs, now wrapped around the other's waist, tighten slightly when Luke slowly grinds his hips into the other's. He can't help but pull away from the kiss for a moment to groan softly. He doesn't seem to expect Luke to chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothin'." Luke is still grinding up on him, grinning goofily. " _Hah_... you're just.. _Ooh_ _fuck_."

He's laughing now. It's so light hearted, warm and gentle. It has no place ringing out in the world they're in. A hellish nightmare, cold and filled with walking _dead_ people. Lurkers everywhere. Soon, they're both laughing as quietly as they can, wrapping their arms around each other and burying their heads into each other's shoulders.

They haven't had time like this to themselves in months. Time to indulge in each other's company without the lingering fear of harm.

Luke makes a mental note to show his gratitude somehow to Nick's Mom for taking watch over the house with Pete in his place.

After sometime, their laughs devolve back to soft grunts and airy moans.

" _Fuck_..." Nick's smiling like an idiot against the skin of Luke's neck. "Why are we laughin'?"

"Well." Luke starts. "I was laughin' 'cause you're so- _Hhah_ \- cute..." Occasionally he manages to rock his hips _just_ right. The occasional spark of bliss, one just a little more intense than the last, always sends them into soft fits of needy quivering. They haven't hit their high just yet, and they're clawing at each other for it.

Nick rolls his eyes. " _Cute_? I ain't cute, fuck you.." His breath hitches suddenly as Luke attacks his neck with kisses and bites, breath turning light and quick. " _Nghh_.."

Luke chuckled, pressing a smile against Nick's flushed skin. "My bad..." He sighed warmly. "You're fuckin' _hot_..."

" _F-Fuck off_..."

They continue this for a second before Luke trails a hand up his side. His calloused fingers stopped at the younger one's worn down black chest binder. It's lingering there for too long, as though in thought. _When did he last take this off?_ His brows furrow downwards, fingers soon slowly move to slip under it and help get it off.

Nick jolts hard at this, moving a hand to grab Luke's wrist tight.

" _Luke_..." His voice turns gruff and slightly irritated. The sudden switch from playful to angry startled Luke.

"What is it, man?" The bigger of the two stops his ministrations between their hips, pulling away from his neck to look down at Nick.

"We've already talked about this. You know I ain't takin' it off." Nick isn't looking at him, though his expression is filled with an agonized sort of fear. "I can't... I just... _can't_."

"I-I understand that.." Luke's fingers linger there for a moment. "I-I... Just-"

" _No_."

"Nick, you haven't taken it off all day. Isn't there like an 8 hour limit?"

"Fuck. Luke, man, _don't_..." Nick inhales through grit teeth. The mood is starting to sour. "I won't die if I wear it for too long, stop worryin' so damn much.."

Luke looks him over with concerned eyes nonetheless. "That doesn't mean it ain't hurtin' you, though..." His voice is soft and gentle. He wasn't wrong on it, either. Nick was wearing his binder for way longer than he should. Exerting himself while he wore it and never resting until he was dangerously close to passing out with it on. Nick wouldn't give his own body a break anymore. Luke knew why, and it just... it tore at him.

Nick was never a fan of his own figure. In fact, he didn't seem to like anything about who he was. No amount of kisses and reassurance could fix that, now that Nick was nearly back to square one with his body.

It was scary how so many years of transitioning could be nearly undone in less than 16 months.

Luke tried his best to comfort Nick with this. He was still a man to everyone in the group, no matter how he looked. His voice was still deep, he was still the same masculine asshole everyone's always known. He was still... _Nick_.

And Nick seemed to hate the last part above all else. He hated not only his body but he hated being _himself_.

Luke could see the emotional turmoil in Nick's eyes when he had to go without his binder. But... _God_ , he couldn't just sit by and watch the man hurt himself like this.

He rests his head back along to junction of his neck and shoulder. "If-If I close my eyes, will you take it off? Just for tonight?"

Nick groans. "Fuck, man, I-" He paused, biting his cracked lips. His chest struggles to expand for a deep breath, and he sighs. "T-Take off the rest of my clothes first."

"Really?"

"Y-Yeah..." There's hesitance in his voice. "Once it comes off, you better have your face buried in my shoulder." Nick's breath becomes quicker, adjusting his legs off of Luke's waist. "And, by then, you better be rammin' me so fuckin' hard I forget my own name not to mention knowin' that it's off.."

"I can do that." Luke offers him that warm smile. A hands soon trail down to undo the buttons on Nick's pants, the other going to rub soft circles into the other's side. "Tell me if I do anythin' wrong."

Nick nods, letting his head rest back against the bed. His chest rises, shivering halfway and then deflating as he sighs. Luke tries to go faster in stripping them both.

After a few moments of a struggle with their clothes, he manages to get them both naked. The binder is all that's left. Luke now sits between the other's spread legs, and he can't help but stare.

Common sense and his upbringing have always told Luke not to stare at someone. But, Christ, how can he not stare? Nick's once pale complexion is now dusted a soft shade of red, lips dripping with his own pre-cum.

Luke feels himself ache to be enveloped in Nick's heat.

He lets his hand trail past Nick's navel and rest along his mound. The younger can't help but shiver and groan, pressing his hips into the elder's hand. The sound only guides his hand further down.

A finger moved down and dares to rub at Nick's hardened clit.

"Augh- _Fuck_..." The blue eyed man arches his back, face contorting slightly in a manner that drove Luke insane. "L-Lower..."

"You want my fingers there, too?" He adjusts his hand so that his thumb is now massaging at Nick's clit and his index finger presses slightly into his wet heat.

The younger nods wildly. "Fuck, _yes_..." He tries to push his hips into the brunette's hand, desperate to be filled, but Luke pulls away.

"We had an agreement, Nick." He eyes the binder, noticing the struggle Nick has been making just to be breathe now.

The statement earns a low groan from the other.

"Hardly a fuckin' agreement." Nick sits up anyways, looking down. His breath is labored, eyes narrows as he shifts awkwardly with trying to pry it off himself. "Shit."

"Need help?"

" _Fuck off_ , I got it." He struggles for a little while longer, biting his lips before managing to pull it off with a loud grunt. He places the binder to the side, inhaling slowly and grimacing. They both look down. His skin clings tightly to his ribcage, and the skin along the edges of them are red and angry. Some of the skin has opened into raw and nasty sores.

Luke's eyes are wide, lips pulling down into a pained frown. " _Nick_.."

Nick stares down at himself for a moment, and Luke sees that same glint of heated disdain there. He doesn't reply, his thumb placed back at his lips to bite down hard.

"Hey, Nick-"

"I hate bein' naked." Nick cuts him off. His voice is filled with a disgusted sort of pain. "I hate... lookin' at my chest. My body is.. _F-Fuck._ " Nick moves his arms to wrap around his exposed top half. "I don't get how you find this attractive, Luke. How you can love.. this. I just.." He shrugs. "I just can't."

Luke is quiet, his hand gently reaching to touch the other's lanky arm. He lets his calloused fingers ghost the heated skin, eyes half shutting as he felt Nick shiver and sigh. Goosebumps formed along the skin he touched.

"You're more to me than just your body, Nick." Luke inches closer to bring Nick into a soft embrace. Nick doesn't fight back, but he keeps his arms pressed tightly against himself. "Makin' you feel good and the body shit is just a part of... _this_." They never exactly thought of a name as to what they had. Nick, at some point before things went to hell, suggested to just call it _love_.

Hands held in a dark forest, squeezing tight to assure the other of their presence. Trading kisses in a newly rented apartment, laughing and dancing drunk together in the kitchen at midnight. Holding each other's hair back as they puked the damage up the next morning. And, eventually, giving themselves over to one another for the first time in the back of Luke's old pickup truck.

 _Love_.

This... this was love.

"Man... I... I don't just love you for your body. You're so much more than that. You're.. _You_." His voice is breathless and pleading. "And.. Fuck, man, _I love you_..."

Nick hunches over, pressing himself into Luke's chest. He finally unfolds his arms, wrapping them around to rest on his lover's back. His ribs shiver as he exhales. "You tellin' the truth?"

"I wouldn't lie to you on this, Nick." He holds him close, making sure to be cautious with the sores litering the younger's skin. Nick hugs him tightly, burying his face back into his shoulder. "Man... You may not love your body... but, I swear, I'lllove it for you.."

There's a silence.

His heart beats quick, anxiety beginning to pool in him now.

"Nick?"

Nick replies with a soft laugh. It surprises Luke, a small smile forming on his face.

"What's so funny?"

"You're so fuckin' cheesy."

" _I'm cheesy_?"

Luke gently presses Nick back onto the bed, peppering him in kisses all along his jawline and neck. They're both laughing again, adoration swelling in air. The atmosphere is light and gentle again, laced with a sensual desire that neither can ignore anymore.

Nick laces his hands into Luke's waved brown hair, staring up at him with dazed eyes. His legs are parted again, breath quick with anticipation. "Still goin' to keep your side of the bargain, asshole?"

Luke smirks. "I'd never dream of not doin' it." He slowly lines his hips up with Nick's, the head of his length pressing up against his lover's dripping core. They're both shivering with excitement, mouths parted to release trembling breaths as they cling close to each other's bodies. "You ready?"

Nick nods and laughs softly. "Ready as I'll ever be."

 _..._

 _.._

 _._

 _There was something ultimately religious about sex._

As they offer their bodies to one another, Luke presses his bleeding lips back against Nick's. They open themselves up to be explored, trading vulgar expletives that could just as easily be mistaken for holy prayers. Between pressed chests, their hearts race in their hollow ribcages and threaten to break loose. Neither can stop themselves from sighing each other's names, begging for a closeness that the mortal world could never provide. They crave to be one, to be something bigger than this existence as individuals.

The couple's bodies rock in unison to an unheard rhythm, one laced in their primal nature. This act is almost as much physical as it is spiritual.

A tension pools in between their bond, and they swear they can hear each other's thoughts.

 _Oh, god._

 _Please, yes._

 _Right there._

 _I want you._

 _I need you._

 _I love you._

Ribcages pressed together, stinging lips kneading into one another, bodies curving into a heat that threatens to blind them.

 _Oh,_ _ **god**_ _._

 _Oh, please._

 _Please, make me yours._

 _Please, send me to your heaven._

They claw, and cry, and smother themselves into their very souls.

Luke is the first to melt into Nick's body.

The surge of heat inside of Nick's womb is the catalyst for his own small death.

 _La petite mort._

Their bodies are alit with a holy fire.

This is the height of their existence.

 _H-Hah.._

This is Life.

 _O-Oh.._

This is Heaven.

 _N-Ngh.._

This is God.

 _ _A-Ah..__

 _ _...__

 _ _..__

 _ _.__

The world is warm and kind again. Just for a few moments. As they tremble in each other's arms, both try to believe that this is what being alive feels like.

A divine stirring in their wombs to signify they are both _alive_. Their hearts fluttering like pent up birds trapped in their ribcages.

The world is soft.

And beautiful.

And safe.

Still bound to each other by a melting heat, they nuzzle close and utter each other's names one last time.

 _I love you._

 _I love you._

 _I love you._

Everything is alright, just for now.

And they are all that matters.

The bond breaks but their minds and existences are still blended together to create a color neither can find name to.

In their haze and as sleep tugs them down into a comforting darkness, they finally suggest a name for it.

...

..

.

 _They name their color Love._


End file.
